Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day

Everyone knows that the best make out albums in the world are Massive Attack's Mezzanine, Tricky's Maxinquaye, Portishead's Dummy, and My Bloody Valentine's Loveless. Well, if you are making out in 1994. Or anything by Billie Holiday. And one of my favorite randy love songs is My Bloody Valentine's "Cupid Come," off of Isn't Anything.

Cupid Come - B. ButcherI don't really know what he is saying, but it's something about creamy thighs and cupid coming. "Feed Me With Your Kiss" off the same album is also pretty great.

For those of you not romantically inclined, I present the wonderfully anti-romance "Marriage Can Suck It" by spazz punks Charles Bronson.

In case you can't make out what he's saying, here are the lyrics:
Ah to be 22, washed up and fuckin' through. You're a pair of K-mart shoes: plastic and phony and with the belief that happiness in life is matrimony. Padlocked to wedlock cuz time's a wastin' to hurry up and waste your life in marriage. Entrapment = death, caught in a web, sentenced to a harsh life of eating meals together and sharing the same bed, ick! How about you just invite me to the divorce instead. Skip the serenade and the bullshit promises your mom and dad would've made. Honeymoon narcosis brains in a love-bong like anyone really waits that long cuz the way I see it you were already fucked way before you ever got fitted for the stupid tux. You are fucking losers, and I hope your kids are ugly.

Cynical, jaded, a little horrible, but pretty fuckin' funny. BTW, every one of the 90 songs they recorded sound exactly like that: brrrwwaRAAHRRRHARRRWHRRAvrrrrrrrRAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

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