Radiohead are boring and dumb

The first in a series of snarky music snobbery

For the past ten years critics have been creaming their jeans over Radiohead, and it’s reached a frenzy in the past two months with their seventh release, “In Rainbows.” I give Radiohead props for their unique distribution method, but I think it’s time people start admitting that they don’t actually like Radiohead.

People say they like Radiohead for one important reason: They don’t understand what Radiohead is doing, and therefore assume that it is smart and good (1). If any no-name band had tried to pull some Kid A type shenanigans on the public, they’d have been ignored to death (2). Sixty minutes of glitch that goes nowhere? Hell to the no. But because it’s Radiohead, it gets called Challenging and poor suckers the globe over are tricked into pretending they actually like it. It’s to the point that if Radiohead presented their slavish public with fifty minutes of Johnny Greenwod doing armpit farts while Thom Yorke whined about yellow dogs, all packaged in abstract paintings, people would be convinced it was some deep shit. “In Rainbows” was named one of the best records of the year, but how can you tell if it’s any good? I’ve listened to 2003’s “Hail To the Thief” 53 times and I still cannot hum one track from it.

Don’t believe the hype – just because it’s obtuse and annoying doesn’t mean it’s deep, and you don’t have to like it. I hereby give all of you the power to say that you don’t get Radiohead and not feel like a dumbass. Go spend your money and time on an artist who you actually enjoy, unless you actually enjoy Radiohead, and then you should get therapy.

(1) the fact that they are a pretty good band who are much more interesting than 90 percent of the bullshit released may also be a factor.

(2) I really like Kid A. No, really, although OK Computer is my favorite. I think the bends is overrated, and Pablo Honey is some serious bullshit, though.